One for sorrow

I'm frightened to feel sad,
Like the pouring rain
I don't know when it comes
And I do feel sick with sadness
And tiredness
And am I really going through this?
Like the windscreen glass (in the rain)
I'm soaked in an ever flowing film of tears
Washing my life over me.
Is this my life how I want it?
Or is this the best I can make of my life
And that's how it is.
I want to live my life to the full
If only it's till tomorrow
Or in another thirty-two years
I'm alive you see
And that's all that should matter
But I have this death sentence hanging over me
And it's sometimes hard,
Sometimes very hard
And yet sometimes it's funny,
It's so normal to me.
I don't know why it's always on people's lips
And sometimes I wonder
If it's even not on my lover's fingertips
That's not to say that it's all bad
For the love I've been drenched in
Has been ecstatically invigorating
That I felt so alive so positive so free...So loved.
This yes no of my life my illness
Is no different to the yes no of every day of my life
And the rain brings darkness
But it also brings life and love
For I know I'm alive
With every feeling I feel.